There are a lot of materials dedicated to the problem of erectile dysfunctions on the web. But the majority of the articles are addressed to men. Of course, it’s not a surprise, as ED is a purely men’s intimate disorder, which is rarely discussed with women. There is an opinion that a woman will simply never understand what her partner really feels when he encounters this problem. However, there are couples, where both partners completely trust each other and share all of their thoughts and problems with each other. And sexual difficulties are not an exception. In these cases it is important for a woman to know how to respond her husband’s (or boyfriend’s) story and how to support him without offending.
Erectile Dysfunction: What is it?
Erectile dysfunction, previously known as impotence, is often described as sexual weakness – an inability to execute sexual intercourse because of a weak erection or a complete lack of erection. The causes of this phenomenon can be different, but in most cases, they have physiologic grounds. Very often, erectile dysfunction is a clear sign of other disorders. It indicates that something has gone wrong in the organism and is necessary to correct. Frequently, after eliminating the initial reason, ED goes away and normal functioning of the sexual system is restored. So, ED is not an incurable condition. However, it is not always possible to eliminate the initial reason. But even then ED is not untreatable. There are modern methods of treatment that allow maintaining sexual function for many years. So, the first thing that you need to realize is that ED is not the end of life and not even the end of your sex life. When you admit it, you should work out the strategy together.
Things You Shouldn’t Do
A lot of women after learning about sexual problems of their partners make some of the same mistakes. If you want to help your partner, but not humiliate or offend him, never do the following:
- Don’t panic. Chances are, your man is depressed and confused. Remember that your aim is to support him, and not make things worse. Even if you are shocked, try not to show it. If you don’t know what to say, then say something neutral like “ok, let’s think what we can do about it together.”
- Don’t blame yourself. It’s definitely not your fault. In most cases, ED is caused by some physiologic changes; it has nothing to do with your relations.
- Don’t blame your partner. He is not “guilty” either. Erectile dysfunction is a thing that he can’t control and can’t predict. It just occurs one day. So if you don’t want to offend or humiliate your partner, don’t use phrases like “it’s all because you smoke” or similar accusations. After all, you don’t know the true reasons for the disorder; nobody knows.
- Don’t express your pity. This is not what he really needs. Yes, he needs support and understanding, but not pity.
- Don’t share this information with anybody. It is probably the biggest mistake you can do. Do not discuss it even with your best friend or your mother. And especially do not discuss it with his mother or his friends. Doing so, you will kill mutual trust and nothing else. There is hardly any more offensive things in the world for any man.
Keep in mind that if your partner tells you about his intimate difficulties, he trusts you completely. It’s not an easy step for him to share it with you, and if you fall short of his expectations, you’ll hurt him greatly.
What is the Right Strategy?
What is the right behavior then? In fact, you don’t need to do anything special. You are not a doctor, and you can’t help your man to resolve problems with his erectile dysfunction. All you can really do is the following:
- Listen to him attentively and say something encouraging. In fact, even a couple of encouraging phrases will work. Say that you love him and that you’ll do everything to resolve the problem together.
- Try to persuade him to visit a doctor, if he still hasn’t done it. Try to explain that self-medication is not a solution. At this stage it is important to find out the reason – it can turn out that the problem is curable.
- Continue your sex life; don’t deny him of it! Symptoms of ED are relieved with Viagra or similar pills, and some difficulties with reaching erections should not prevent you from enjoying your life.
Finally, remember that erectile dysfunction is a problem that touches both partners. You need to make certain efforts to make your intimate life as satisfying as before. But if you love each other, you’ll overcome it.